Ulysses Discovers That His Son Wants to be Batman for Halloween

…O.K., I will admit that he is a pretty crafty guy;
but how hard is it for him to be resourceful
when the guy has unlimited resources:
Bat-plane, Bat-phone, Bat-shark repellent.
And no, it is not a matter of jealousy.
Hey, I never needed an Amazon to watch my back
in a fight or some fancy Kryptonian alien
to help get past all of those sea monsters.

It is more than that, bigger than that.
Imagine how Elvis must feel when he sees
Lisa-Marie moving her hips to a Justin Timberlake
song. Or what does Michael Jordan think
when his kids walk out of the door in Lebron James’ shoes?

No, I do not want the boy to be like me;
I never told him to go cross the seas
and match his wits against the gods.
But why could he not choose Hercules?
Every boy wants big muscles.
Even Bacchus would have been acceptable,
at least the guy knows how to have a good time.
But why bother dressing up like someone
who does nothing more than dress up
like me?

And when was the last time Batman
stabbed a cyclops in the eye?